If you’re anything like me, you’ll want to lose all the excess poundage that you put on during pregnancy asap after birth.
Obviously, you have to bear in mind that you have just grown and ejected a small person which will have taken a massive toll on your body – but it doesn’t stop some of us wanting to bring our sexy back when we feel ready to get on with it.
So, how to go about losing the weight? If you are sensible and listen to Auntie Google, it’s a healthy diet and gentle exercise that is the key to shifting the jiggly stomach and wobbly hips.
However, if you know better, how about trying the following crap ideas:
Even more of a rubbish idea if you’re breast feeding FYI. I’m following the 5:2 diet where I eat 500 calories 2 days a week and healthily the rest of the time. I’m losing about 2lb a week (which is great), but fast days are a real struggle with a 3 month old baby. There’s nothing quite like being starving hungry to drill those jarring screams through your brain.
2) Buggy run
Not only will you feel like a lolloping prat, you’ll look like one too.
Only joking, I’ve seen plenty of yummy mummies rock this form of exercise, but I’m certainly not one of them. Even worse, I took Mila on our first buggy run 6 weeks after I had her and somehow hurt my knees so badly I had to come down the stairs on my bum for a week. Not cool.
3) Get chased by travellers
Ok, so this isn’t your standard exercise routine, but is one I’ve recently participated in and wouldn’t recommend. You know the drill; you go for a walky/jog, merrily listening to Britney Spears on your iPod, minding your own business as drivers going past you point and laugh at the size of your behind. Then suddenly, some young boys from the temporary traveller camp down the road come flying at you on their bikes, laughing hysterically as you try to speed up to get away. They then proceed to follow you on the rest of your journey, shouting what I can only assume to be encouragement (kept the music in obvs) until you finally make it home. Technically almost as effective as a personal trainer really.
4) Pre-shower routine
This is the one you can find on loads of Instagram and Pinterest posts – creating a routine whereby you do 10 squats, sit-ups and press ups before each shower. Great in principle, but when you have a new baby and regularly forget to shower, let alone have 5 minutes to waste before it, not so great in practise. In fact, I haven’t actually managed to remember this routine once.
My most useless tip is to start a blog. You may think it’ll help you lose weight by keeping you accountable or what-have-you, but the truth is that it takes so much time writing and promoting posts that you actually end up with way less time to get off your lard ass and workout. Half the time, you may even forget you have a baby while trying to finish off the perfect post (oh crap, where did I put her?), but it does beat the millionth episode of Skins on Netflix during maternity leave.
So, if you’re feeling brave, why not give my rubbish weight loss ideas a go and let me know how they work for you! Alternatively, just eat well and work out like a normal person – I’m not fussy.