I love my husband.
I have to state this before you read the rest of the post as you may question this fact by the end…
Today I’m sharing a few things I’ve learnt about him since we had our baby 3 months ago tomorrow. It’s simply astounding that I’ve spent nearly 6 years with the guy and suddenly some downright irritating traits come snaking out of the woodwork.
So without further ado:
- His fuse is shorter than Basil Fawlty’s
I thought I was impatient, but boy was I wrong! While I understand that our daughter is a just a clueless baby and so can tolerate her crying pretty well, the minute she starts getting upset, my husband has a mini breakdown and runs through every conceivable expletive to sooth her. Funnily enough, it never works.
- He worries about the stupidest stuff
From leaving her in the car seat too long (as in, 10 minutes) to panicking each time she spits up, I sometimes can’t keep up with everything he worries about. New baby fear is only natural, but the daft things he invents to get worked up about is simply ludicrous. No, she’s not going to choke on her fingers as they are not detachable FFS!
- He does everything wrong
Literally everything. The nappy is always too loose/tight, he doesn’t dress her gently enough, he doesn’t speak to her in the right way, he feeds her the bottle incorrectly, he looks at her funny… OK, I think this one is on me. I can’t help it, my way is right, his way is obviously wrong.
- Farts are literally the most exciting thing in the world
He just told me how proud he was of a particularly loud windy-pop she let go. After he’d regained composure from hysterical laughter. Enough said.
- He’s horribly mean
People really shouldn’t have babies to bring them closer together. It won’t work. The things he calls me should never be uttered by a decent human being, let along the man you love. About 90% of the time we hate each other – the rest is mild tolerance. Parenting is fun!
- He’s the best daddy ever
He worships the ground she doesn’t yet walk on, is completely involved in everything and loves us both unconditionally.
You really do get to know a person when you have a baby.