Prams and pushchairs are a staple in every parent’s life. They are the one constant to get you from A to B with the kiddiliwinks in tow. A good pushchair can be our best friend.
But more often than not, they are a living nightmare.
The initial expense, the fiddly set-up and the impossible navigation. Those that are championed as ‘the best‘ are often the size of a small SUV and would fit more easily on a car roof-rack than in the boot where they belong. The pushchair is possibly the most impractical practical item I own.
So I started thinking
Surely there must be a way of getting more out of my bloody buggy? It’s the item I see the most and yet I give it very little consideration. Until now.
Because, dear readers, I have come up with 3 ridiculously useful uses for prams and pushchairs that will improve your daily life. Hold onto your undies.
1) Improve your hand/eye co-ordination
Prams and pushchairs are huge. The supermarket aisles, pavements and Primark are not. There is nothing more frustrating than sailing round a shop, thinking you are giving every obstacle a wide berth, only for the blasted wheel to jam on a clothes-rail and bring you to an abrupt and painful halt. The wheels of pushchairs are unbelievably and unnecessarily large. There may be a very valid reason for this, but I genuinely can’t be bothered to Google it, so I’ll stick to my incredulity.
But there is a way to use this to your advantage. Channel your inner truck driver and use the impracticality of the urban environment as an assault course. Work on your navigation and co-ordination skills by deliberately targeting the areas of weakness; bollards, tight corners and dense railing. Practice swift turns, squeezing through impossible spaces and reverse maneuvers and pretty soon, you’ll have a whole new skillset to add to your CV.
2) Boost your booty
Who doesn’t want to look like a prat and tone up at the same time!? Me, please.
Working out alone, in your kitchen to a YouTube video with no need for equipment is boring. It’s too personal and private. Head down to the local park instead to join the tribes of Yummy Mummies all realising that the best piece of equipment for that bouncy behind is (you guessed it) the pram in front of them. Think squatting down while pushing the pram away, walking lunges, light jogging and a few chest presses – all using the pushchair as a legitimate source of resistance.
Now, it may seem like I’m taking the piss here. And I am a little bit – but I’m allowed because I genuinely have done this. In all likelihood, I’ll do it again. I don’t mind looking like a bit of a tit, and this is a great way to do that. But I’ll be the tit with the excellent bottom… yes please, thanks very much.
3) Clear through crowds
Crowds of people set me on edge. Crowds of people ambling slowly, wandering in your way or failing to move despite an impending collision piss me right off. Add to that those idiots that take up the entire pavement walking 4 abreast while your whole family is shuffling single-file against the wall, and I see red.
Cue my new appreciation for the excellent idiot-ramming device that is the pushchair. Before, I would sometimes attempt to show my displeasure at stupid strangers by keeping my elbows out for a slight jab. But now, I have the amazing torture device that no-one in my way can ignore. If you are a thoughtless, inconsiderate or downright selfish fellow crowd member, you will feel the wrath of my metal and the sting of my giant wheels. It will hurt, and I won’t care. I’ll just smile and say, ‘whoops, sorry did I get you? Perhaps you should have MOVED OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY THEN. Toodaloo.’
Of course, this does not apply to the young, elderly or disabled. I don’t go around running down old ladies that totter into my path. I promise.
So that’s it, my secret to using your prams and pushchairs to their full capabilities. For all the money we spend on them, they’d better improve our job prospects, backsides and shopping experience in my opinion.
Let me know in the comments below if you have any more ingenious uses!