Don’t panic everyone, I’m not pregnant with our second baby!
I’m only seven (nearly eight) months into motherhood, so no need to rush into the whole shebang again. And I don’t plan on rushing.
But still, I can’t help but dwell on the prospect of baby number two. I mean, I’ve always been completely sure that I want at least two children. My husband, as an only child, would be more than happy to stop at our one, amazing baby. But having two sisters myself, I know that having siblings is quite possibly the best thing ever.
As a parent of my fantastic little girl, I’ve finally experienced the level of love that I had only ever heard about from other mothers. And nothing rivals it.
But I’ve found myself feeling hesitant about expanding that love
My family and friends must think I’m mad recently as I’ve been asking everyone the same question – ‘do you really love the second baby as much as the first?‘
I know it sounds ridiculous, but when I try to imagine sharing the immense feelings I have for my daughter with another human being, it seems impossible. It’s almost like sharing that love would mean demoting my daughter from her spot as number one in my heart.
I’ve been reassured countless times that you do feel exactly the same for all of your children – and I’m sure that’s true – but picturing the scenario feels like I’m cheating on my baby. Yep, I’m having an affair with her non-existent sibling (that sounds weird, but you know what I mean!).
I’m sure I will love my second baby – but for now, I guess I should focus on enjoying every second of the girl who stole my heart!
OK, so when’s the best time for a second baby?
Right, so now I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll probably quite like baby number two, the big question is – when?
I don’t know what age gap is best, and how to fit it in around life. Do I buy the house first? Get a promotion at work? Wait until this one is off to Uni before starting again!?
I liked being close in age to my sister growing up (yes, the good old fraudster!) and so I think that would be an important factor. But what with returning to work and getting on the property ladder also being high on my priority list, I feel a bit stumped.
I like to be the one who has everything all figured out, but sometimes I need to remember to let go of the reins a little and stop panicking. In reality, there is plenty of time for number two (who I may or may not like – heart depending) – it’s irrational to put a time limit on it.
All I know for sure is that right now, I’m not ready. Both emotionally (quite clearly from this waffling post) and practically. But someday soon, or in the far flung distance, I will be.
And there’s nothing my husband can do to stop it!
Please let me know in the comments below the age gaps of your children and why you chose those gaps (oh, and if you love them all obvs) so I can sort my head out!