I’ve been MIA.
I hope you missed me. I missed you. Honestly, I did.
So, where did I buggar off to then? Well, following the slightly meltdown-y post about overwhelm, I decided to take a step back. Every blogger I spoke to confirmed that they had also had similar feelings and a break was the best way to get back on top of everything.
So I logged out, flew to Lanzarote (planned, not just sporadically) and stopped thinking about blogging. Well, I thought about it, just chose not to do it.
And it felt good.
It was a much-needed holiday away from the random and often ridiculous stresses of modern life.
But now I’m back. And don’t worry, I’ll blog all about my first family holiday away soon enough.
But today… I need to make a statement.
I’m going back to work in 3 weeks
Granted, it’s for 3 days the week before Christmas and then I have the Christmas week off again… but it’s enough to fill me with the fear.
Maternity leave has quite literally been the best year of my life. For all the struggles with lack of sleep, too much poo, a strong-willed daughter and looking like I fell out of a waste disposal unit, there has been a bouncing baby girl to counteract it. Moo has swayed from bring hugely independent (which had me questioning her loyalties) to a snugly little one year old.
Yep, she’s just turned one. It doesn’t really make sense, but apparently that’s how time works!
I have a bond with my baby like I never knew possible. It takes all I have to stop myself nibbling on her cheek every 30 seconds.
So what am I going to do with myself when I have no cheeks to nibble on for a whole day!?
I’m not actually too worried about the actual work part of work. In fact, I’m rather looking forward to being a proper grown-up again. I get to dress nicely, brush my hair and wear make-up. I will be privy to adult conversations and banter and use skills that hopefully haven’t been replaced by episodes of Bing!
For 3 days a week, I’ll be ‘free’
But, on the flip-side, I do quite enjoy being a baby’s prisoner. Alright, maybe not any baby, but mine is a very cute captor. She’s still pretty independent so I don’t really have any worries about her well-being at nursery… She’ll handle it like a pro. It’s going to be me who is weeping in the corner during the settling in sessions. I’m half-tempted to use a T-shirt printing service like Printsome to send her in with my face on her clothing – just so she absolutely cannot forget who I am.
I know that I am so so lucky to be able to have it all.
Working part-time hours means I get 3 days to play grown-up and 4 to be mummy. And I honestly do appreciate my luck.
But it’s stepping into the unknown by leaving my little sidekick and it’s scary.
I am scared.
And I don’t doubt for a second that I’m not the only mummy returning to work who has felt this way.
So come on working mums – share with me your insight, wisdom and any coping strategies for those first few days of missing baby!
*This is a collaborative post